On Instagram today, I came across a statement posted by @theproblemgays that I agree with entirely. He writes, “Guys aren’t bad at texting. Guys are bad at being mature enough to say ‘I don’t like you enough to communicate solidly so I’m going to string you along for weeks with sporadic responses that keep you miserably hanging on to any hope that a specimen of the male race knows how to act remotely right.'”
Strangely enough on a few of my most recent encounters and interactions with guys that I met online via a hook-up app, the lack of maturity oftentimes leaves me speechless. From my perspective of being a 46 years old gay man meeting and hooking up with men 50 and over, you would think they would be mature and direct when it comes to their level of interest in you. However, that’s not necessarily my experience. I’ve experienced a greater level of maturity with Millennials. How is this possibly happening?
Men who are 50 or older are supposed to be direct, upfront, and have learned from past experiences how to relate with others. They should have some level of maturity simply because they’re from the era before online dating hookup apps. It’s almost as if they suddenly forgot the days where we met each other in a bar face to face and if not interested, some, not all, had a level of maturity to say, “It was nice chatting with you but no thank you, I’m not interested.”
I do have to say though that it’s not easy to tell someone you are not interested. Take it from me I struggled with being transparent and honest sometimes when I was not interested, only because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. When it comes to telling someone that I’m no longer interested or have no interest it’s easier for me today than it was back then.
Whenever I kept someone lingering it was for selfish reasons. I kept them in my back pocket until I could secure someone that I was more interested in. I’ll be the first to admit it’s not the most honest and respectable thing to do to another person. Thankfully, I’ve learned from the error of my ways and realize it’s not the right thing to do. We deserve more and should expect more.
That leads me to my current dilemma with guys online. Just when I was getting used to the notion that guy’s ghost you, I have to now deal with guys who don’t show up. In my most recent endeavors with guys online they’re taking ghosting to new heights and lying at a whole completely new level that makes absolutely no sense to me. When did it become acceptable to tell someone or agree to meet someone, text him for an hour “I’m on my way. I’ll be there shortly. I’ll see you soon. I’m on the train,” and then not show up at all? I don’t understand.
When talking about maturity this is the lowest of all low and the ultimate example of immaturity. Now on top of the potential of being ghosted by Mr. Wonderful we now have to worry about Mr. Right Now never even showing up.