Is Valentine’s Day for Lovers Only?

By spending time with friends on Valentine’s Day, I feel less pressure to be with a romantic love.
Kinkster MAG, Valentine's Day, Gay Relationship Advice,

I popped into Duane Reade recently and that candy isle filled with pink and red hearts has reappeared. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. As I started to reflect on what’s in store for me this year, I’ve learned there is a growing trend to reframe Valentine’s Day from a day about romantic lovers to one about non-romantic love.

Thinking about Valentine’s Day differently certainly opens up possibilities. There are plenty of single people who should have options for what to do and who to do them with on Valentine’s Day without feeling sad, depressed, or pressured to have a date with just one person. It doesn’t have to be a stressful time of making the right impression and hoping you get the day right for your lover.

Why not make it easy breezy by focusing on friends and friendship rather than a ritualistic celebration of romantic love with one other person. Sure if you’re coupled and it works for you, go ahead, get romantic, buy some chocolates, flowers, and/or sexy apparel for one another. But if you’re single or you just met someone and you’re not sure how to handle the day, keep it simple and make the day about friends and friendship.

Today.com, wrote a piece about millennials who are hijacking the day. Many of them are focusing less on the day being meant for romantic love and transforming it into a day to focus on the real love in their lives, their besties. As I learned more, I realized I’ve already been doing this without knowing there has been a trend.

I and a few of my friends have been getting together on Valentine’s Day for a few years for a nice dinner to celebrate the fact we’re friends. We eat, share stories, laugh, and appreciate our ongoing friendship with one another. In some recent years, I’ve also gone out with my ex who is one of my best friends now. We don’t meet up to be romantic with one another. We meet up to celebrate our long-term friendship and enjoy a nice evening out. To be cheesy about it, yes, I do buy him a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

By spending time with friends on Valentine’s Day, I feel less pressure to be with a romantic love. I’m less depressed for not having met someone to call my lover because I see how much love I have in my life through my good friends. Not that I would, but being with my friends sure beats being home alone lamenting I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day.

Whether you decide to spend time with friends on Valentine’s Day or not, I won’t attempt to give a run down of how to spend your time, but rather I’ll share some other articles offering fun things to consider:

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Culture

Co-owner & VP of Operations, John is a thinker and a doer. He's a whiz at working through policies and procedures but loves taking time to explore the urban environment in which he lives and calls home. He also appreciates getting his fancy tickled.
One Comment
  • Michelle
    31 January 2018 at 9:51 AM
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    I tend to agree with the article. It’s a day to let someone know how proud they are to have you in their life. It’s a fun day also, something to look forward to. If you had a romantic relationship, you’d feel differently I guarantee it. That being said, I believe anyone can be your valentine. The boy next door, the man in the supermarket, the girl on the bus, your best friend, or your lover. However, society has always based this festive day on lovers because Saint Valentine is a widely recognized 3rd-century Roman saint commemorated on February 14, and since the High Middle Ages is associated with a tradition of “courtly love.” This kind of love “courtly love” is originally a literary fiction created for the entertainment of the nobility, but as time passed, these ideas about love changed and attracted a larger audience. In the high Middle Ages, a “game of love” developed around these ideas as a set of social practices. In essence, courtly love was an experience between erotic desire and spiritual attainment, “a love at once illicit and morally elevating, passionate and disciplined, humiliating and exalting, human and transcendent”. Its interpretation, origins and influences continue to be a matter of critical debate, and I think it always will be.

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