The aftermath of crystal meth runs deep and affects gay men in a variety of ways. Sex after crystal meth can be complicated and often the reason for a relapse.
When I stopped using, I was fearful of having sex without it. Not to glorify having sex on Meth but it’s indescribable because when you are hooking up with complete strangers to have sex, you become desensitized, often closed off to intimacy; using Meth allows a person the ability to be emotionally and sexually uninhibited.
“So while meth is working to increase sex drive in users, it is also providing the individual with a boost of self-confidence, stamina, and adrenaline. Meanwhile, meth is also actively impairing one’s judgment, and meth users do things while high on meth that they wouldn’t normally do. The powerful brain chemicals caused by meth use causes individuals to drop their guard, and engage in unprotected sex.”
For men, a healthy sex life is a vital and viable part of what makes us feel whole. Although I believe individuals who are mature, fruitful and fulfilled in other aspects of their life are not obsessive about sex.
“What happens with crystal and the dopamine is that one particular issue of sex gets very exaggerated, which is the aggressive, sort of animalistic kind of sex,” says Dr. Steven Lee, psychiatrist and author of Overcoming Crystal Meth Addiction.
Once a person stops having sex on crystal meth, sex does not feel the same and the reasons vary. One reason is when you have too much methamphetamine, it damages the dopamine system, thereby decimating your ability to feel pleasure about anything, however, don’t let that frighten you.
The first couple of times, I will not lie to you, sex definitely will be boring, however, the trick to improving sex after meth is learning how to MAKE LOVE, which honestly most gay men have NEVER experienced because we’re conditioned to always focus on the act of f*&king. As you get your groove back, you learn that there is a difference, and people who say they were “making love” on meth are lying to themselves.
Once you face the fear of the unknown of having sex without meth you’ll realize you can have great sex without it. With that being said, let me dispel the obvious:
1. Sex may not last as long as it would on meth, but it will be more satisfying.
2. You will be uncomfortable getting undressed, and you will try to cover every bulge. (Being comfortable naked and in your skin is key).
3. Getting wild is relative and may fade without Meth. Use your imagination; you’ll be surprised how deep your mind can go sexually without meth.
4. It will take a awhile for you to get your groove on again. (When you fall off the horse, get back on it, and ride it until it feels good again.)
Also, be mindful when starting a new relationship, the urge to do meth may come back because you’ll want to experience that animalistic kind of sex once again. You might even be tempted to introduce meth to your partner but remember when you do; it ultimately destroys every relationship.
I CAN and DO make love, as well as I did before meth so if you’re thinking about stopping, the road to healthy sex is not easy, but it will be worth it! Be hopeful, tap into your romantic side, and pick guys to sleep with who love to kiss, cuddle and who are unafraid to express intimacy even if it’s a one-night-stand.
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