Forgiveness is how we grow; it’s also how we rid ourselves of unnecessary pain, guilt, and regret. It is always important to forgive yourself. I had to learn the hard way. When I refused to forgive myself and others, the negative energy and thoughts would build up within to transform and transmit negative vibrations into my life. My avoidance and lack of forgiveness translated into coping mechanisms like: drugs, dating toxic men, and holding on to emotionally draining friendships.
To masquerade pain, we protect ourselves in unhealthy ways, build walls, and self-medicate.
The lack of forgiveness in a person’s life manifests and spreads like a virus, a virus that affects the mind, body, and spirit. If forgiveness is not present in a person’s life they are blocked from seeing the good that surrounds them and they unintentionally transfer negativity to others close to them. Transfer of energy is a dangerous thing because it affects loved ones, co-workers, and the brief encounters we have with strangers throughout the day.
We’ve been conditioned to view forgiveness as a weakness, and that’s far from the truth. Forgiveness is a powerful gift we can give ourselves because it naturally releases harmful toxins, emotions, and thoughts. Life is not easy! However, when you add anger and resentment, life becomes a dark and lonely place to live.
Are you still angry that your ex-boyfriend cheated on you? Do you refuse to speak to a life-long friend because of a misunderstanding? Are you still haunted by your past and the things you once did (e.g. alcohol or drugs)? If so, it might be your ego blocking you from being fulfilled.
To begin the process of forgiveness, you must ask yourself why you’re unable to forgive others but mainly yourself. It’s not a question you can quickly answer, it requires a lot of thinking, and practice. Author and relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant says forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. But sometimes your ego gets in the way of moving on. She alway adds, “holding grudges leaves you emotionally retarded and spiritually constipated.”