The Truth About Cheaters

Too much going on to just play Russian Roulette with your health to allow him to stay in your life. - Jade Elektra
Ask Jade, Jade Elektra


I recently found out my boyfriend was hooking up with guys on BarebackRT, and I wanted so badly to forgive him but can’t get past it. I want things to go back the way they were, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him writing those messages, having sex with a man whose name he probably didn’t know, and lying to me about it.

Jade, is it possible to forgive someone for cheating, lying and most likely for having unprotected sex? He said it would never happen again, should I believe him?


Dear Broken-Hearted,

Jade Elektra, Drag Queen, Ask Jade, Kinkster MAG,Take it from a seasoned queen…for your sake you need to let him go. As Maya Angelou said “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Honestly…he wasn’t thinking about you when he went on that site and hooked up with whoever. It’s not like you two had discussed an open relationship.

Had he came to you and explained why he wanted to have sex with other people and you both agreed that was okay you two could have set some boundaries and rules for that kind of arrangement. But discovering that he just flat out lied speaks volumes about his priorities. And I’m sorry to say that you ain’t one of them. Too much going on to just play Russian Roulette with your health to allow him to stay in your life.

It’s gonna hurt. It sounds like you really love this guy, but trust me..there’s someone out there who will give you the love and respect you deserve.

Men & Sexuality

Jade Elektra came out as a gay man and started performing in 1985. A seasoned Female Impersonator, Recording Artist, Actress, Out HIV+ Activist (positive since 1989) and a DJ. Ask whatever you'd like! DISCLAIMER: All opinions and advice in this column are only represented by Jade Elektra and are no way an endorsement by KINKSTER MAG.