Everyone thinks they’re good in bed. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a handful of you reading this are awful. If they had Yelp to review sex partners I would be the first to be reviewing a few I swear were the worst I’ve ever had. Let’s face it, not everyone is mutually clear or in agreement on how to have sex and what feels good. With that being said, here are a handful of things that you should never do while having sex or you are guaranteed not to be called back for round #2.
Believe it or not, many guys I’ve been with don’t kiss and it’s always been an issue for me. Kissing is my Viagra. They all say it’s intimate, but hell, what’s much more intimate than me penetrating you? Kissing a complete stranger may not be on top of the list and perhaps it’s because the positioning doesn’t allow for it or they are too eager to climax and feel that it might break the rhythm. Nevertheless, it is highly recommended that you make an effort to kiss your partner during the act – it will only add to the experience.
OUCH, that shit hurts, and who told you I want you to bite my nipples. This is one of my pet-peeves, guys who assume biting is attractive! While many people enjoy an aggressive partner, biting any part of their body before they are aroused may lead to pain and discomfort (and might even lessen the chances of any further action) or simply scare them off.
Ignoring everything but sexualized parts
Men have told me that I’m a passionate lover and that’s because I pay attention to other parts of their body that most guys ignore. Obviously, genitals are great, no doubt, but you should definitely pay attention to other parts of your lover’s body and focus for some time on their entire body – knees, wrists, back, and stomach are highly erogenous zones for men. Gently caressing these areas will help excite your partner further, in turn increasing the chances of them pleasuring you back.
Putting your weight on your partner
Have you weighed yourself lately? If not, you should because the moment you put all your weight on me and you see that I can’t easily catch my breath, get the hell off me. That means you weigh more than you think you do. It’s okay to lose yourself in the moment every once in a while and go crazy on your lover. But when you’re lying on top of them, you have to be careful not to drop your weight on them. Chocking them or hindering their ability to breathe will kill the moment. Trust me, once I can’t breathe the night is over.
Climaxing too soon/too late
This one is especially for men. You need to have good control over your muscles to ensure that you can ejaculate at an appropriate time. Too soon and you may leave your partner unsatisfied; too late and it might leave your partner feeling as if they’re pumping iron at the gym. To avoid this, spend a lot more time on foreplay (this will help men as well as women). If you take too long and can only ejaculate via manual stimulation, do your best to get your partner to orgasm and then they can return the favor.
Not warning your partner before you climax
It’s such a disappointment when he screams out your name without warning only to find out he is ready to either go home or roll over and call it a night. Dude, hello, what about me?! If you’re going to let go – whether, during oral or intercourse, you need to tell your partner beforehand. It’s common courtesy to proclaim, “I’m going to cum.” Your partner deserves to know.
Treating sex like porn
This is huge because lately, all the men I’ve been with all have sex like they are in a porn flick. For me, I don’t watch it or like it but it seems that a lot of gay men’s sex education comes from porn. It’s such a turn off for me when a man has porn sex. I feel disconnected and it’s less about me and more about the scene they are creating in their minds. Although some couples enjoy having raunchy sex, you’d be wise to talk to your partner before you engage in such behavior.
All my online profiles state, “verbal a must,” because a man quiet in bed is not stimulating nor fun. I hate it when I’m in bed with a guy who is so stone-cold that I find myself over-compensating in the area of verbal. I get tired of hearing myself talk. When you’re quiet it’s hard to determine whether you’re having a good time or not. So on the flip side, pay your partner the same respect and speak up when you’re enjoying yourself. Something as simple as a little moan, or even saying something like “that feels so good,” will encourage them and educate them further on your moan zones.
I don’t have this problem but guys tell me all the time that they hate being pounded like a machine. It may feel comfortable to you to pump away like you do at the gym, but you’ll quickly discover that most people don’t enjoy such an act. Mix it up a little bit; go fast at times, then slowly. Be creative and you’ll find yourself enjoying some variation too.